I couldn't stay away for long. So lets see where to begin? First of all, i have been bombarded with hot nerds and emos now that i'm NOT single :P Seriously. I have been asked out like 5 times by random guys i see at the book store. Then this one guy keeps sending me love letters. They sound like cheesy harlequin romance novels :D And my bf is in Hawaii right now on spring break, so he's even farther away :( He makes me smile, calling me his princess of darkness. What a nerd! Ah, but i am crazy about him, that computer geek. Also, i hate to admit but seeing all these shops with prom dresses and all that makes me want to have a prom all over again, except with out all the stuck up snobs. It would be like a prom for all the outcasts and what not. That would be awesome. On a different note, i am trying to rope my bf to take a road trip from michigan to chicago so we can go to panic at the disco's concert. Hmmm, what to bribe him with? Other than me, of course ;D. AND BTW PANIC'S CD IS OUT AS OF RIGHT NOW! :D

Ok, that is very stupid. I went back and read my last post so many times to see why they blocked it. There is no profanity, no explicit content, nothing that would offend others. So what's up with that? I give up. I'm starting to hate xanga anyway. I should just cancel it.

Wow, this has been the longest that i haven't really written anything. It used to be my goal to have at least one person read my posts. But now i don't care. I'm starting to lose interest in many things. And i've awaken my parents' suspicions. Which used to scare me before, but now i could care less. At work, some lady was mean to me because my nails are painted black. She called me a goth. I had to laugh, which made her mad. I hate narrow-minded people. So, i'm so excited and i can't hold it in anymore. If things go my way, i'll be moving out and away to michigan. I can't wait, but i'm sort of sad to leave chicago. I love it here, but i love michigan more. For a special reason. This is so stupid and cheesy, but i get butterflies when he calls me his princess of darkness. I am so lucky i found my nerd, a computer geek to be exact. this summer is going to be the best ever. I'm finally the person i have always wanted to be. And i have someone who loves me the way i am. What could possibly be better than that?

When you least expect something, it happens. You're totally unprepared for it. And there's nothing you can do but to accept it and deal with it. But if its something you have always wanted and for some reason you had to let that want go, then its even better. When your heart beats fast, when you get chills, when you smile so wide it hurts, when all you want to do is be with them. It is the most frightening yet exciting feeling ever. The most simple words captivate you. You want to hold on til your arms ache and you want to be held so tight until it hurts. You want to hear their breathing and their heart beating. It's a desire so great, it hurts. It makes the days go by so fast, yet when you talk it's as if time has stopped. I want to squeal into my pillow. I want to run out of my room into the streets and keep running. Running until i collapse. And when i look up i will have reached him. And i will have to run no further.

Just approximately two hours ago, a cop showed up at our house, unbeknownst to me. Some a$$holes stole my car. They busted the passenger side window and damaged the steering wheel column. They were as the officer calls them 2 black juveniles. They were going to get pulled over i guess for speeding but they jumped out of the car. So the f@#kers got away. And now i am stuck with the bills of repairing and taking the car out of the pound, which sure as hell ain't cheap. This sucks. I end up paying for something i had no control over, while these jerks are out somewhere right now free. FREE! I am crying of anger, disgust, and i just have to put it on here to let it out. I hope those bastards get shot. That is how angry i am. My sense of security has been violated. And what if they come back? I am scared. Why did this have to happen, God? And why do the bad people always get away? I wish i could wake up and find this to be a dream. No, correction. A nightmare. F@#k this place. I hate it.